How to Lose Your Game in 10 Simple Steps

golf510Most golf instructors today have it all wrong. This whole notion about positive reinforcement achieving much more success than negative reinforcement? Hogwash! No, quite the contrary… they’ve been going about all of this bass ackwards, because each year when the surveys are published about the average scores from average golfers – the average scores are getting worse, not better.

The time is now to pose a different strategy, I say.

So you’ve been playing great golf as of late and have no earthly idea why that is. Sure, every player will give his/her own reasoning behind the lower scores, with everything from “I’m hitting it on a rope, and 40 yards longer” to “my iron play has never been better.” A few will credit improved chipping and putting, while others will say they’re cutting down on the senseless penalties and managing the course better and making smarter decisions.

But the bottom line is that the game is no longer fun and you suddenly find yourself going through the motions every round playing a boring game. You miss that feeling that can only come with the sound of a splash as a ball finds the center of a water hazard, followed by your reliable proficiency of uttering no fewer than 5 F-bombs that can be heard three fairways over. You miss calling yourself bad names after chili dipping a pitch shot from just in front of the green, or the challenges that come from trying to unearth a badly plugged ball from the green-side sand bunker that shouldn’t have been in the way but ultimately was. The sound of a ball making dead-solid contact with a hollow tree 80 yards into the woods? That feeling of  bewilderment that can only come from a 2-footer that horseshoes around the cup? The thrill of swinging as hard and as fast as you can from the tee with absolutely no idea where the ball is going to go? The swooshing sound of a wedge being helicoptered 75 yards after a bladed shot from the bunker?

Yes, you miss each and every one of those scenarios and you desperately want the game to be like it used to be, and you fear that it’s gone for good. Well, I’ve got good news for you today – I can get you back there. It won’t be easy, but if you’ll follow my 10 Simple Steps – I can make you an even greater hacker than you ever thought you could be.

 

 

How to Lose Your Game 10 Simple Steps

 

1. Play every last inch of the course.

You’ve probably listened to someone tell you that you don’t hit the ball far enough to play the back tees, and sure enough – you’ve meandered forward on the tee box and found yourself a lot closer to the greens on your second shots. Move back to the tips and leave yourself longer shots into the greens, so instead of hitting a comfortable iron – you’re hitting a fairway wood. Come on, you know that’s where you should be playing anyway, anyone can hit a green with an 8-iron…

2. Put the 0 back in hero. 

You’ve feasted on the conservative approach, pitching out sideways when you get stuck behind the trees and still making par, or maybe the lowliest of lows – laying up when there’s trouble that you know you can reach. Come on, reach between your legs and give the boys a jingle again, letting them know you’re still there. You didn’t come here today to lay up, did you?

3. Swing really hard on every swing.

You’ve simply forgotten how awesome you looked with those neck veins flared as you lashed at the ball with every ounce of your inner being. Deep down you know you’re the longest hitter in your group, and who cares where the ball ends up? You’ve got a reputation to uphold, and your buddies have forgotten how bad it feels when you tell them, “Hey, you’re away.” Grip it and rip it, from driver all the way down to wedge, the harder and faster, the better.

4. Play the night owl the night before.

Sleep? Who needs sleep? If your tee time is 8:00 tomorrow morning, don’t worry about getting back home before 2:00 a.m. at the earliest. Go ahead and live it up the night before, I mean get totally ripped, to the point where you forget where you live. You’ll find a way to get home and get at least 3 hours sleep, that’s really all you need anyway.

5. Get to the course 2 minutes before your starting time. 

There’s nothing like that first swing of the day to wake up every muscle in your body. Why waste it on the range before the round? Your back, legs, and shoulders will be fine, it’s not like you’re getting to work 45 minutes earlier than normal to loosen up and stretch your fingers at your desk job Monday thru Friday. The only additional time you need is figuring out who you’re going to screw over by them having you as your teammate in your weekend match. If you have to sprint into the pro shop to check in to be on the first tee on time, you get extra points.

6. Just say no to practice.

Above all else, avoid practice like the plague. Seriously. You’ve probably gotten into the habit of going a few times each week, found a little something to take with you to the course on the weekend, and the accuracy of your shots has become a little too predictable. Just simply stop going to the practice range after work and go home and vegetate like the rest of the hackers in the universe without even thinking about golf.

7. See how many days in a row you can play without taking a day off.

Like Def Leopard always said, it’s better to burn out than fade away. During your summer vacation (since this won’t be possible if you have a job) see how many consecutive days you can play without a break. Seven would be good, 10 is really good, and 14 days would be great. Make sure you’re going to the first tee cold-turkey without a proper warmup though! Can’t forget step #5.

8. Really tight grip pressure is vital!

One of the reasons you’ve been hitting good shots lately is because you’re gripping the club much too lightly. When you grip the club, squeeze as hard as you can and maintain that level of grip pressure from start to finish. Your knuckles should be bone-white, and you should be able to feel that in your arms and shoulders too. The instructors say to apply enough pressure as though you’re gripping a tube of toothpaste without squeezing out the toothpaste? Baloney. Squeeze every last ounce of that toothpaste out of the tube. If you prefer the “holding a live bird” analogy, kill it with your bare hands.

9. Have at least 10 swing thoughts during your swing, more if possible.

Ah, now we’re getting somewhere. You’ve gotten into the habit of having only one or two swing keys over every shot. That’s obviously not enough. Look, the longer you stand over the ball at address and think about all of the needed mechanics to produce the upcoming swing, the better. The absolute last thing you need is only one small thing to think about. In your mind, you should feel like you’re juggling no fewer than 6 sticks of dynamite, and nary a one can hit the ground. That’s the amount of confused stress and tension we’re looking for.

10. Set your expectations really high.

Who cares if you can’t remember the last time you broke 90 – you’ve got more than enough talent at your disposal to play par golf just about every round. Go ahead – put that number out there in front of your buddies before the round even starts, telling them that they’re going to witness something really special from you today. Every round – par golf or better should be the goal.

 

So there you have it. If you follow my 10 Simple Steps as outlined above, you’ll be back to playing the game the way it wasn’t meant to be played in no time at all.

 

 

Finding Your True Golfing Identity

 ”Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess, and to gain applause which he cannot keep.” ~ Samuel Johnson, The Rambler – 1750

The first awakening in my golf career came as a result of my first videotaped lesson. I remember going into the lesson all excited, as I was looking forward to observing a beautiful, athletic swing in motion (or so I thought). I arrived early to loosen up and hit a few balls, wanting to be in perfect form for the camera time that awaited. I won’t bore you with the specifics. I’ll just say this: if you attached my attitude going into the lesson to a monetary value, I would’ve been the richest man in the world. An hour later, after witnessing the reality of what my swing looked like – I would’ve been penniless.

I reference my first real “awakening” because I think it gets to the root of my playing perspective that I’m sharing with you today: We are only as good in golf as our minds allow us to be.

As I sat in the chair in the teaching pro’s office 30 minutes later, as he was commenting on what we were observing in my golf swing, the first thought that came to my mind was, “That’s not me, my swing is much more smooth and pretty.” While I was utterly dazed and confused with the reality that I saw that afternoon, I paid little attention to the teaching pro’s comment as he stopped the video right as I was impacting the ball. “Look at your impact position – it’s perfect. That’s what we call the moment of truth – right there. You’ve nailed it.”

But that wasn’t good enough for me. Now I wasn’t expecting to see the graceful, rhythmic motion as that of Ernie Els or Freddie Couples, but neither was I expecting to see the less-than-pretty golf swing that I apparently owned, whether I wanted to believe it or not. The video doesn’t lie – that was my golf swing. And despite the teaching pro giving me tons of compliments on doing “all of the most important things right” – I was more concerned about the aesthetics. That flawed mindset of valuing pretty over functionality became my obsession over the next several months, and by the time the season was coming to a close – I was ready to quit the game for good. In my quest to become the weekend warrior equivalent of the Big Easy, my swing turned into the Big Nasty. I’d become a total basket case with a golf club in my hands, with no fewer than 30 swing thoughts standing over the ball at address. Fortunately it was a tough winter and I wouldn’t have the temptations to torture myself for another 4 months. I put the clubs away in November and I didn’t touch them again until April.

But 4 months later I was right back where I left off 4 months earlier, having no clue how to hit a golf ball. I decided to go back to see the teaching pro again, except there would be no video this time.

After watching me hit balls for 5 minutes, and then listening to me explain how I’d spent the remainder of the season prior working on  a smoother, more graceful swing, he held up his hand and cut me off mid-sentence. “There was absolutely nothing wrong with the way you swung the golf club. In fact – your impact position was as good, if not better, than many of the Touring Pro models that I compared it to back at that lesson. Let’s get back to being that guy again. Let’s stop worrying about being Ernie Els and get back to being you,” he said. “I gave you a copy of that videotaped lesson. You still have it, right?” I told him that I did. “Good,” he said. “I want you to watch that video before each practice session for the next month, and get back to doing what you were doing. Don’t worry about how you think it looks. There are thousands of amateurs who would love to hit the ball the way you do. Get back to hitting the ball the way you know how to. If you’re still struggling after that – come back and see me.”

About two weeks later, after 4 practice sessions and 3 rounds of golf, I started resembling the old, reliable me again. I’ve always been a “hitter” of the ball, meaning that I use a lot of leverage, athleticism and timing in my uptempo golf swing. I’d played this way my entire life, and played rather well. Why I decided to change that… I guess it’s not that much different than a guy who needs every ounce of forgiveness in an oversized game improvement iron but would rather struggle hitting those handsome blades that are half the size.

Don’t worry about pretty. Don’t worry about swinging like Adam Scott or Freddie Couples. Take pride in your golf swing and your golf game in general. Don’t be afraid to take lessons and always seek improvement. But avoid trying to be the golfer that you’re not, trying to impress your playing partners who quite frankly are so consumed with their own challenges that they don’t have time to notice yours.

Be the best player you can be, not what you think others think you should be. You’ll come a lot closer to realizing your true potential if you can avoid trying to live up to someone else’s.